


What makes him happy

by winstonlives



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, 2018, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Happy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 00:59:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13892886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winstonlives/pseuds/winstonlives
Summary: 2009 Dan Vs 2018 Dan the same things still make him happy.





	What makes him happy

Nov 2009

He loves Phil. He loves him more than what may be healthy, sometimes he actually does question it. They’ve only seen each other in person a few times so far, and now he’s on his way to see him again. His stomach flutters with nerves and excitement. He knows Phil loves him too. They’ve both said as much through the blurred screens of their laptops late at night, in half whispers so no one else can hear. This time he’s determined to say it in person. 

The thought of being able to reach out and touch Phil whenever he wants for the next few days makes him completely happy. Thinking about being able to touch his face and his soft slender hands, his surprisingly muscular thighs, and his gorgeously plump ass thrills Dan to no end. To be able to press his lips and hands to the skin he alone sees every night before he falls asleep, and the ability to show Phil just how much he loves him makes him happier than he can say. 

He can remember what it was like before Phil, can remember the feelings of hopelessness, of uselessness, of letting himself and his family down. Then one day he found Phil, and he smiled, he laughed, at Phil’s stupid videos, at his insanely strange, funny, creative brain he let everyone in on for a few minutes. 

He was mesmerized by his wit and his silly crooked grin, his beautiful sea blue eyes, and his innocently-confident strangeness. He saw things in Phil he wished he himself possessed. Getting to know Phil has helped him so much more he thought was possible. 

Phil makes him smile and laugh every single day, something that he didn’t know he needed. He does though, and now that he has it, he never wants it to end. He could have a completely horrible day, a fight with his family, a crap day at work, it almost doesn’t matter anymore, because he has Phil, and Phil makes him see the good of the world, makes him see that not everything is terrible. Phil gives him hope, and shows him the silver linings he never would have noticed before. There are days he can’t bring himself to get out of bed, to take a shower or take care of himself, but those days are fleeting, much more so now that Phil is there to tell him he’s worth it. 

He hates that he’s like that. Hates that he can’t seem to function like ‘normal’ people. Phil tells him normal is boring. Which in retrospect, normal is pretty boring, but he also hates being different, or rather so different that he couldn’t fit in even when he tried. He stopped trying to fit in the older he got but still was unhappy. Phil insists it’s because he is still trying to be someone he isn’t, he’s still _trying_. It’s harder for him than it is for Phil though, Phil is Phil, and he’s wonderful, he doesn’t have to try and be something he isn’t. 

He arrives finally, after sending cheeky texts all day. He has to control himself to not run off the train and leap on Phil. He succeeds in greeting him like a human being and not like a lost puppy who found his way home. He kind of feels that way though, of finally being home again, of being found, being where he’s supposed to be. It scares him a little, how much he feels for Phil, how much this man means to him. It scares him, but he couldn’t run from it even if he tried. He knows he’s supposed to be there, be with Phil as much as possible. It’s hard because they both live with their parents. and hours apart from each other, but they make it work. It’s still a new relationship for both of them, but his feelings are stronger for Phil than they ever were for anyone else. 

They arrive at Phil’s house and run upstairs. He tosses his bag on the floor as Phil tugs him by the belt loops onto the bed. He falls back laughing, and giddy to be here in this house with someone who makes him feel so light and loved, and special. Phil rolls to his side and looks down at him, with those eyes, and his heart pounds even harder. He’ll never get sick of this view, of Phil looking down at him, looking like he’s the best thing he’s ever seen. 

“I missed you,” Phil whispers, even though they are alone in the house, no reason for him to be quiet. It seems right though, for his confession to be said quietly into the still of the room. “I missed this,” He says, and leans down and presses his lips lightly to Dan’s, before pulling back to look at him again. 

“Missed you too,” Dan says, just as quiet, just as reverently. They already said this all at the train station, but now… now they’re together where they can show each other just how much they missed one another. He reaches up and pulls Phil down to kiss him again, this time it’s deeper, longer, and he feels as though he’s turning into a warm viscous liquid. His lips open allowing Phil to lick inside his mouth, to run the tip of his pink tongue over the tip of Dan’s. Dan inhales deeply through his nose without parting from Phil, breathing him in, trying to bring him inside anyway he can. Phil moves slightly so his body is mostly over Dan’s, and Dan can feel Phil’s hardness on his hip. He moans into the kiss as he slips his fingers up under Phil’s shirt, his skin hot with want for more contact, more of Phil’s skin on his. 

Phil kisses down his cheek, his jaw, and nips lightly at his neck, “Fuck Phil, god that...fuck…” He can’t even string a sentence together anymore and they’ve barely started. Phil’s fingers have found their way under his shirt and are pushing it up. He leans up long enough to pull it up and off of Dan before he falls forward to claim his mouth again. 

Dan pulls Phil’s shirt up his back, and Phil pulls off enough to allow Dan to remove it before he’s back kissing Dan as if his life depended on it. Their bare skin pressed together, Dan runs his hands up and down Phil’s back, then down under the waistband of his jeans. Phil grinds his hips down, Dan moans into his mouth. The feeling of Phil, pressed against him, able to feel how much Dan affects him, is something Dan is still amazed by. The glorious physical response translates as reassurance that Phil is, in fact, enjoying what they’re doing, that he is actually turned on by Dan. 

Dan lets his left hand move between them, moves to stroke Phil through his jeans, to touch his hard cock with his hand and feel the length of it, the thickness of it in his fingers. Phil moans then, his hips buck involuntarily, and he pulls his lips back from Dan’s neck where it has wandered back to. He pants and looks down at., “Already close, you’re going to make me cum.” 

“Not yet.” Dan smirks and lets go, pulling Phil down again for another kiss, “Want to suck you off,” Dan says as Phil moves to bite his earlobe as he grinds his hips again. 

“You sure? You just got here.” 

“Fuck yes, been thinking about it since I was here the last time,” Dan says and pushes Phil so he is laying on his back. Dan straddles him and grinds his cock into Phil’s. “Want you to fuck my mouth.” 

“Fuck…” Phil says, he grabs Dan’s hips and still them. “I am so close and we’re not even naked yet.” 

“I can fix that,” Dan smirks, and pulls back, scooting to sit between Phil’s legs, he lets his fingers trail down Phil’s torso before they reach his button and fly. He takes his time, teasing a little as he slowly pulls them off, and then his pants. Dan will never get used to this sight either. Of Phil laid bare before him, hard and wanting. Dan’s mouth still waters just from the idea of Phil. Dan strokes himself through his own jeans before leaning down to kiss the side of Phil’s knee. He just needs to kiss him, it doesn’t always matter where. 

He strips himself before he lays over Phil, who immediately wraps his arms securely around his waist. Together they sigh, finally able to feel each other, feel all that bare skin on bare skin. Dan’s head is tucked into the crook of Phil’s neck, and he sucks lightly at the skin there. Phil’s hands wander, smoothing over the skin of his back and down to cup his backside, as he does so they both move their hips into each other. 

They move again. Their cocks rubbing against each other while pressed between their soft bellies. Dan lifts his head so they can kiss, using their tongues a little too enthusiastically but neither of them caring. The heat builds between them, and Dan finally breaks their kiss, moving down Phil’s body, nipping and sucking as he goes. Phil watches. Watches as Dan sucks a nipple between his lips, watches him lick into his belly button, and kiss over the trail of sparse hair leading to the base of his cock. He sucks in a breath as Dan licks the space just below the crown of his penis, then kisses it in the same spot. 

Dan loves the feel of Phil, of the entirety of him, but he especially loves how Phil’s cock feels. He loves the thickness, and the length, the heaviness and the perfect proportion of it in comparison to his balls. He loves how the longer he teases, the darker the head becomes. He loves to tease, to watch it bob and jerk as he licks and blows cool air on it. He loves to kiss the base and sides of it. To take only the head of it in his mouth and dig the tip of his tongue into the slit as he chases the salty sweet flavor of Phil. He loves to let it fill his mouth, the weight of it on his tongue, the feel of it go in and out of his mouth as he bobs his head.  
He loves to watch as the flushed pink patch moves up Phil’s neck, to his ears and his cheeks the longer he plays. He loves to watch Phil’s eyelids droop and become heavy, as his mouth opens while he pants out quiet breathy expletives. He loves the feeling of Phil moving in and out of his mouth while Phil rakes his fingers through his hair, or dig into his shoulder. He loves when he makes Phil buck with pleasure when he uses a hand and his mouth at the same time. He loves the sharp breath Phil inevitably takes when he tugs lightly at his balls as he sucks him all the way into his throat. He loves the fact that he can make Phil swear, and moan and growl just by using his mouth. Mostly though he loves that he gets to show Phil how much he loves him by giving him pleasure, and making him happy, by making him cum. 

He loves all of it, everything he does with Phil, but this is the best thing so far that they’ve done. Phil has taught him how to do it, then let him improvise and explore, and together they both learned how it really works, how good it all can be. So far this has been enough, has been perfect and has left them satisfied yet wanting more.

They’ve toyed with the idea of more, and teased with fingers, but still have not moved beyond the bliss of what they already know. This time though, this visit, he thinks the teasing and toying will come to a head and they will cross another threshold together. If not it’s okay too. There’s no rush, no hurry because he can’t imagine ever wanting any of this with anyone else, which is both scary and spectacular. 

This time as he takes Phil fully in his mouth he feels a warmth come over him. A bliss of knowing this is what he has been missing, what he’s been wanting, and it’s finally happening again. He sighs through his nose and pulls Phil by the hip to roll them, they’ve never done it like this, but he wants it. He wants Phil to control it, to use his mouth. He’s now on his back, his mouth still so exquisitely full. He pulls Phil’s hips in even tighter and gags a little but continues pulling and pushing showing Phil what he wants.

Finally Phil starts to do it on his own. Tears are in his eyes from gagging, and he blinks them away, he is so turned on, so hard for this new way that he can’t even wait for Phil to help him with his own hard cock. As Phil thrusts into him he strokes himself. He moans, and Phil’s stomach muscles tighten. He knows Phil is close, he can tell because he recognizes the sounds he’s making and the way Phil’s body is getting more and more rigid. His cock is too, it feels huge and hard as a rock, moving in and out, as it hits the back of his throat at a steadily increasing pace. 

Phil is swearing and panting, as his hips move faster and faster. Dan’s hand is moving even faster, he’s so close and he knows Phil is too. He prays that Phil comes in his mouth, doesn't pull out, he wants all of him. He wants as much of Phil as he can take into his own body, he wants Phil to take him, make him his, mark him in any way he can. He knows that makes no sense but that’s how he feels, he wants all of Phil, anything he can have. 

Phil stops, his hips jerk and Dan can feel and taste Phil’s release. Phil jolts a couple times before he slowly pulls out, and Dan can see his body shaking as he lays next to him. Dan’s still stroking himself and as soon as he sees Phil’s face he’s spurting into his hand. He cums so hard it almost hurts, his body coils in on itself, his muscles spasming over and over. Then he feels Phil’s hand on him, running down his arm to wrap around his hand and therefore his cock. Phil pulls what little is left out of him. 

Dan finally lays still, his eyes shut, and he feels Phil move next to him, feels warm lips and a wet tongue clean him up and he almost cries at the idea of it. The idea that Phil does this to him, for him, even though he doesn’t have to. To know that Phil wants to do that, makes him feel even more loved, makes him feel like nothing can be more intimate between them. He sighs as Phil presses a kiss to his lower stomach, his chest, and his collarbone. Phil’s hand cups his cheek, before he kisses his lips sweetly, “I love you so much.” Whispered once again, so only the two of them can hear. 

Dan closes his eyes, his emotions raw from the intensity of it all, of Phil being here, of Phil saying those words to him, doing that to him, for him. He licks his lips, he can feel that they’re a little swollen. He’s excited to see the evidence of what they’d just done, to see it clearly the next time he looks in the mirror. He opens his eyes, “Love you too” He smiles, and can feel tears well up in his eyes. 

Phil notices and pulls back, concern sketched across his face. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay? Was it too much like that?” 

 

Dan chuckles, “Yeah, I’m okay. I...it’s just...ugh, I just fucking love you, and that was so fucking good.” he swipes at his cheeks. “I’m more than okay, I’m so fucking happy.” He smiles pulling Phil in to kiss him again. Phil smiles against his lips, and wraps his arms around him, making more tears stream down his cheeks. Finally Phil kisses his dimple and just holds him. The tears eventually stop, and they fall asleep tangled together in a warm blob of contentment. 

 

___________

March 2018

Dan wakes up to Phil’s morning breath puffing against the back of his neck. He tries to pull away, but as with most mornings, Phil’s grip tightens instead. “Phil, let go, I have to pee.” Phil presses a quick kiss to his shoulder and squeezes around his waist, “Oi! You’re gonna make me pee the bed!” It’s a game they play often. Phil being a brat, and feigning innocence. He lets go and chuckles to himself as Dan walks into the bathroom. 

Dan looks at himself in the mirror. His hair is wild and curly, his eyes puffy, his lips chapped and a little swollen because of Phil. He swallows and loves the residual tenderness he can still feel from their activities the night before, nothing a hot coffee and a bowl of crunchy nut won't cure. He loves that they have had years to practice to perfect the way they do that, yet they still explore and experiment. 

He loves the way Phil can push into him, just enough to satisfy them both. He knows Phil likes it when he gags a little because it makes him feel sexy, or dirty, or something. Dan doesn’t quite understand, but he likes to do it for Phil, he likes it when Phil lets loose, lets himself relax and enjoy it all. It makes Dan chuckle, thinking about how his Phil is so different from AmazingPhil the caricature when they’re together that way. When he’s going down on him, or whenever they’re having sex or making love. When Phil swears, and grunts, pulls Dan’s hair and lets himself talk dirty. Dan loves that he can have that effect on him, still, after all these years. It still makes him happy, makes him feel outrageously sexy and incredibly lucky in love.

**Author's Note:**

> A little different, I think, from my normal writing. If you like it let me know. 
> 
> This was obviously in reference to a certain new(ish) vid, and I at first wasn't going to write a smut about it. But I'm me, and can barely contain myself, so here is the smut fic I wrote for that vid. I have a very short one-shot that is not smut as well, so if you haven't read that, maybe head over there and read that one too. (#spon) 
> 
> Thanks!


End file.
